Wednesday, December 23, 2015

Awareness Over Fear

At any moment, an individual can choose awareness over fear.
+Amazing World

Sunday, December 6, 2015

America's Issues with Mental Health, Violence, & Culture

+Wonderful Wildlife
America has issues with thinking, feeling, and discussing mental health, violence, race, culture, & religion, and disagreements between and among one another on all of these societal issues. 

There absolutely is a youth component to some of these issues. There are actually neurological components to some of these problems that too many overlook. The young brain isn't able to learn and connect the dots as the healthy adult brain does. And, if those connections aren't created, fostered, and maintained in and throughout adolescence, the person will have difficult struggles the rest of their lives.

+Wonderful Wildlife
Instead of parents being defensive about being seen as being wrong, mistaken, or even terrible parents, they'd rather blame anyone or anything else. And, if you dare comment or offer advice based on experience or research, they react in ways that are far more damaging to everyone involved.

Somewhere along the last few decades, people became concerned with being wrong, not having all the answers, and for needing & asking for help. 

It takes a village to raise a generation of people successfully. 

Our country has been failing at that for too long.

Tuesday, December 1, 2015

The Changing World of AIDS; Stigma, PrEP, and Beyond

+Wonderful World
Today is World AIDS Day. Thankfully, there is still active research and because of new revelations of celebrities like Charlie Sheen coming forward with their own HIV-positive status, HIV is more prominent in the media than it has been in years. That doesn’t mean the response by the community-at-large or the gay community has been all that positive to these revelations. In fact, I’ve found it to be painful at times.

I don't see the stigma regarding HIV and AIDS changing within the gay community as a whole anytime soon. The gay community lives in state of denial and instant gratification, and HIV & AIDS stands in the way of both of those states of mind and being.

This is why many would rather distance themselves from ever having to deal with it realistically by avoiding those who have it, personally, professionally, or otherwise. It seems far easier for some to shroud and protect themselves with fear and anxiety than to relate to people honestly and openly. 
+Wonderful World

Certainly, this isn't the way everyone in the gay community lives their lives, but for many it's far easier to deny reality in order to experience the quick fix of sexual gratification. 

I’ve known far too many people that are no longer with us because they denied their own reality, their own actions, their own responsibility as the result of those actions, and all to avoid having the stigma of HIV & AIDS applied to them in the way they’ve applied it to others. 

It was far easier for them to avoid getting tested or receiving results from tests simply to perpetuate their own myth of HIV-negative status.

+Wonderful World
The consequences seem fairly obvious, but we’re dealing with severe ignorance based in fear, anxiety, and a deep need for affection, which some connect to sex. With the advent of dating and sex apps, the availability of people for sex has never been higher.

However, with the advent of highly successful treatment of HIV, those living with the virus AND med-compliant are actually the least infectious within the community. Adding to that PrEP, a once-a-day pill, where high-risk HIV-negative populations have 100% success rate of avoiding HIV infection, the days of HIV are numbered. Yes, 100% success rate.

People that infect others with HIV are those that do not know their status. That is the fact. It is the people that are most fearful of HIV, those that are most susceptible to the stigma of HIV, that are actually most at risk for HIV infection.

Monday, November 9, 2015

The War on Christmas is Back, Y'all

If it's Christmas, there's a war on it, apparently, right here in America.
+Wonderful Wildlife

We all know of the conservative principle of telling businesses how to run their businesses in a Christian fundamentalist way, right? We need to get behind that conservative principle and force Starbucks to put a little holy blood in their coffee this holiday season.

When Jesus bought Starbucks during the holidays, he only bought Starbucks in 100% decked to your grandparents' halls with so much jolly Christmas cups, right?. It's in the Bible, y'all. 

No, it's an absolute honest to God war on Christmas. You betcha.

See the color of the cup. It's the color of blood. From the war, y'all.

You knew it when you saw it. If you didn't, you've already succumbed to the evil ways of logic, reasoning, and rational thought. Let go of those evil ways. Let go of that plain red cup.

This war on Christmas cannot take anymore prisoners. 

Tuesday, November 3, 2015

The Politically Correct Mob is the New Religious Right

The sort of moral outrage over costumes and pictures of costumes is frankly ridiculous. It's Halloween, folks. Once again, the costume choices of celebrities have come under fire only because these are widely disseminated through social media.

Gus Kenworthy, an Olympic skier who recently came out as gay, put on a First People's Headress, posted it online, and the politically correct-far left firestorm took aim and began opening fire. He has since removed the photo and apologized. 

What in seven hells is wrong with someone putting a headdress on for Halloween? Where are nurses getting pissed about the nurses outfits depicting their profession so terribly? About the history of pirates being stolen and robbed by costumed sexy and terribly behaved people? About people dressing up as the characters from TV shows and movies stealing the jobs and discrediting the work of hardworking actors and actresses?
+Amazing World 

It sounds ridiculous because it is ludicrous. Moral outrage and politically correct bull is no different from the religious right trying to tell the gay community and everyone else what they can do, how they behave, who they can marry, and where they live.

The far left-politically correct mob is becoming as out of touch, controlling, and mandating of public and private affairs as the religious right. 

Don't stand for it. Stand up against it. Don't let them control and dictate to anyone as the religious right has done in our country for centuries. 

Friday, October 30, 2015

Ballad of the Texan Libertarian

"Climate change isn't real, Texas. Neither is government assistance important, like FEMA. 
Sorry. Shit happens. It's on you to pick yourselves back up. 
Why haven't you picked yourselves up by your bootstraps yet?  
How lazy can you be? 
How dare you complain about your circumstances? 
You chose your life; you choose your consequences. 
Live with it. Figure it out on your own."
-said no rational, reasonable person ever. 

Wednesday, October 7, 2015

Displaced Criticism of an HIV+ Child Star

The Huffington Post, amongst others, love to rain criticism on a childhood star who takes the courageous action of exposing his HIV status and personal story in such a public way in order to help others. Danny Pintauro, from Who's the Boss?, recently spoke to Oprah about his status.

Don't fault him for learning as he goes, and for the general public as well as for celebrity hosts being completely ignorant about science, health, and sex. 

Our country now prides itself on its ignorance. Challenging it . . . Standing up to it and just being yourself simultaneously is not easy. You can't possibly know the best answer to every question based in obscure ignorance unless you've been asked it in a crowd of people and had to answer it immediately and repeatedly. 
If you've never actually stood before a crowd of people or a camera and answered totally random questions in an off the cuff setting, you have no idea how it is to be placed squarely in the middle of the firestorm of public health, sex, and ignorance. 

Americans, in general, are wonderful, bright, insightful people. Those people that manage to get a platform aren't perfection personified. They aren't some reservoir of omniscient wisdom that can pierce the veil of every inane comment or question. Many people who ask these questions know what they are doing. They know that they are twisting the facts. They know better. However, they have an agenda. It should be obvious what Danny Pintauro's agenda is, right? To expose the truth about meth, sex, and HIV infections within the gay community. And, if anyone believes this to be just a gay issue, you haven't met all the people I've met over the past two decades. 

People who cut those down that stand before the public firing squad, willingly, when they, themselves, have never done this, themselves, have no idea what they ask of others because they simply have never demanded it of themselves. They only demand perfection of others. Anyone who doesn't meet their level of perfection or give them what they need they discredit and distort.

If you demand perfection of others, why don't you do something about it yourself?

Friday, September 11, 2015

Thoughts on 9/11

What separates and divides us is only in our minds. 

Today is the anniversary of when what others did to try and divide and destroy us brought us together as a country and as a world community. The people responsible used the fear, confusion, hatred, and anger within a few and weaponized it, slammed it into buildings, and set into motion a seemingly ceaseless series of violent images speckled with heroism, revenge, patriotism, and politics. 

That sense of togetherness we shared, if only for a moment, has long sense been forgotten and obscured. 

By our old divisions, old decisions, old ideas, old wars.
By our new divisions, new decisions, new ideas, new wars. 

What 9/11’s brutality uncovered was the real truth . . . our shared humanity, our shared pain, our shared suffering, and our shared human experience. 

What others may have forgotten has never left my heart, my mind, my soul. 

That connection to all things, to every creature, to every person on Earth.

That belief in each other.

I won’t forget.

Saturday, August 22, 2015

Violence Continues Against Gays, A Plea to Community

Another young gay man found dead in Indianapolis.

Please, wherever you go, be aware of your surroundings and who you are with. 

There are people out there that are looking to take advantage of you and do harm to you, and often because of who you love not what you have. 

Local and national news may never care about our young dead, but we do. Look out for each other. Speak up, with, and for each other. 

My thoughts and heart go out to his family, his friends, the community, and all those out there that feel afraid and frightened. 

Too often when our community calls the cops, we are not taken seriously. It can actually double down on the trauma and the harassment. Our missing aren't showcased on Nancy Grace, or much of anywhere because some think we have it coming. 

No one deserves this. If you think they do, you're sick and need help.

Monday, August 17, 2015

The NFL, Stadiums, Critics, and For Profit Status

As the first week of the NFL pre-season comes to a close, the rumblings of the critics regarding the celebrity and money can already be heard throughout social media. It's easy to hate on the million dollar salaries. I completely understand that, especially from those who have paid taxes to build stadiums that have supported the NFL and its 32 franchises. Stay informed, and, the information isn't positive across the board in every city and every area that is home to one of these 32 franchises.

The players and local teams are quite active, however, with local charities. If you happen to live in the vicinity of an NFL franchise, you know this as fact. Teams, players and coaches are out in the community donating not only money but time and energy to local causes. Also, the NFL, after 70 years running as a non-profit, finally will willingly begin paying taxes as a for profit institution this year. (Source:

That's not all that these teams and stadiums offer to the cities that are home to them. The local games do support local jobs, local tax revenue, local recreation and local relaxation. There are some stadiums that aren't as strategically located or as intelligently designed as to incorporate into a city's overall consumer and convention business plan. Those cities that have done the due diligence to directly link these stadiums into the life-force that is their downtowns have seen tremendous growth in convention business and in small business startups. 

Many of the players are actually well-intentioned. I've had the pleasure of meeting many of them over the years, as well as a few coaches, like Tony Dungy. I don't agree with Dungy on politics AT ALL, but him and his family have suffered greatly, as his son committed suicide, and personally, they were always very kind. I have seen firsthand how his family and all the players are hounded wherever they go, regardless of the personal tragedies that each might be enduring.

The players I knew over long periods of time were good people who contributed greatly to their community. People cherish these players, these teams, and those people support the charities those players and teams support. It's a pay it forward multiplied by all the fans of all the players.  

Does this all even out? I don't know. I do know the physical side effects of multiple concussions myself . . . without the benefit of the paycheck. The impact of multiple concussions is significant and long-lasting, maybe lifelong. 

So, I don't know if I'd take the admonishments of people that aren't well-informed over those that know the people involved and the medical issues that players are left with after the games are over. I certainly haven't benefitted from knowing the players or Dungy. Maybe others have, but I haven't witnessed that either. 

I do wonder if much of this is just jealousy of success and fame without understanding the costs of both. We live in an era that celebrates celebrity culture, but tears down individuals as quickly as they are built up.

I do know that these NFL players spent much of their childhood, adolescence, and early adulthood during college working their asses off in practice and in the gym consistently to become the embodiment of the perfection of physical human form in order to throw themselves into these stadiums for others to cheer them on when they succeed and tear them down when they fail.

For every single player on that field, there are countless coaches, teachers, principals, previous teammates, parents, brothers, sisters, nephews, nieces, grandparents, aunts, uncles, friends, churches neighbors . . . all of whom had a role in that player walking out onto that field. No one gets to where they are all on their own.

There's much more to this than the million dollar contracts and the multi-million dollar stadiums. I do think each city and each state has to balance the benefits and the costs to create the most effective symbiotic relationship that supports their community's overall needs. These partnerships should be exactly that . . . a partnership to build a better future for the entire community.
Sorry Bears fans

Sunday, August 16, 2015

Garbage Journalism: The New Era of Politics and Punditry

The manner in which the MSM is covering this race is truly despicable. 

They dismiss Bernie Sanders, they allow inane questions and comments to be made disparaging Hillary Clinton's character, they dismiss all other outlier candidates on the Republican side (Trump, Fiorina, Carson, Cruz) even though some of these candidates receive no serious questions or scrutiny when given reporter's are given the opportunity.

It's just a lot of garbage journalism. You can't even call it yellow journalism anymore.

I watched this morning as pundits and politicians would state lies or half truths about the Clinton email scandal, and then another guest would attempt to correct the record, and the host or moderator would stop them to try to clamp down or avoid the clarification. 

What the hell is wrong with the media today? 

The MSM has a want and a desire to let these questions to linger through the 24/7 news cycle for weeks and months and even years on end. This plays into the hands of political pundits and politicians alike. On Capitol Hill these politicians wish to play politics instead of actually to do the work of the American people to protect our military and veterans both at home and abroad as well as our foreign diplomats and embassy personnel.

Instead of the modern day version of journalism and the media asking questions and receiving answers, both politicians, public figures, and media all work together to obfuscate, obstruct and confuse the American public.

Without due diligence, patience and objectivity, it is difficult to sort through the slants and biases, the answers, non-answers, the non-question questions.

We have to ask more from those who represent us, but we must also ask more from ourselves and each other. There is no other way for this corrupt system to change. 

Wednesday, August 12, 2015

Don't Blame All for One, Cops and Protestors

I've seen a number of unfortunate memes and comments in the last week after violence erupted in Ferguson, Missouri during the one year anniversary of Michael Brown's death. Whatever your opinions are of his death, these protestors are not just protesting his death but a legacy of harassment, intimidation, and a general lack of both accountability and responsibility by authorities against their community. 

The vast majority of these protestors have been and continue to be both peaceful and well-intentioned. They have a good relationship with the police that manage the ongoing situation. It's the influx of others that arrive to take advantage of situations and to instigate violence that are to blame. 

If you blame all protestors for the actions of a few, that would be like blaming all cops for a few cops killing unarmed citizens, wouldn't it?

Tuesday, August 11, 2015

Intentions Trump the Difficult Words of Others

It's a difficult world. It can be difficult to hear words come out of difficult to hear people's mouths. None of it really matters. In the end, it's how you think and feel about yourself and others that defines your life and your love.

Wednesday, August 5, 2015

Vets, Wages and the People in the Way

Some people in this country are just a bunch of angry, uninformed, uncaring pricks who would much rather have a few fight wars for them in the Middle East and not stay informed in what's going on in those wars. Then, when those who 'survive' do come home, the citizens do not hold their government accountable for taking care of their vets. 

When it comes to someone else, anyone else having a slightly better than horrible life where they work for a living, they'd much rather bitch and moan and stand in the way of that person's right to a living working wage, healthcare and a right to a good American life. It's far easier to attack those who are working 40, 50, 60 hours a week and who have no time to do anything else. It's far easier to attack someone than it is to understand another's life and perspective.  

Oh, and the striking difference in the parties on the latter issue is that one party will fight and fight hard to make a living working wage never happen and use vets as a rallying cry to make themselves look like they're strong on national defense when they're weak on veterans issues. 

Our vets languish in the worst bureaucratic nightmare of a healthcare system that is the VA while on the campaign trail the candidates all pat themselves on the back and protect each other and their pals from any undue criticism for their lack of results in fixing the VA and protecting vets. Meanwhile, our vets suffer. 

If a vet walks into the VA because he has trouble hearing, what do you think they tell him? They don't say, 'Let's get you a hearing aid' . . . They tell him, 'You can learn to read lips because there's nothing wrong with your hearing.'

Friday, July 31, 2015

The Accessibility of Outrage Instead of Relating; Animal Rights Over Civil Rights?

I think it is easier for people to feel outrage about harm to 'defenseless'-without-obvious-'voice'-without-actual-rights animals then it is to relate to that also being true about violence to fellow human beings, as evidenced by the outpouring of outrage over the killing of a lion by some no name Minnesota doctor recently.

One, we make stuffed animals to engender positivity and compassion toward animals. Second, our human society has learned to objectify and see each other as alien and different from one another. This increases the divide and lack of empathy we feel for our shared common humanity.

Outrage can be compounded by social media and the 24/7 cable news wash cycle. Pictures of dead animals, bellicose language about the Middle East, wars against Christmas and other religions flood the screens whenever possible. The endless parade of celebrity gossip, political scandal and relentless spitting of opinion and conjecture clouds all sense of objective judgment. 

In reality, animals actually have no rights unless we choose to grant those benefits to those animals. It's only the animals that are deemed personable enough that outrage ensues when a human commits a violent act upon those animals. Another reality is that we need to eat, and animals are a source of food. Many vegetarians forget that vegetables and fruits are living things, too. Books are byproducts of trees. Nothing that we utilize is brought to us from space. I know I'm not a herbivore; I love to read books; I cherish and enjoy eating. 

Atrocities and violence against human beings are acts people often don't witness firsthand. And, when a person does witness or directly experience these acts, it's traumatizing and difficult to express to others in a way that actually relates that trauma effectively to those who have no relatable experience. 

People who have never experienced a negative encounter with the police rarely can relate to that reality, especially if you have relatives or friends who have served as an officer.

People who have never accessed social services or welfare can relate to the chaos and the difficulty involved with government bureaucracy, nor in maintaing those services or transitioning off of those services.

People who have never been in a fight or fought in a war have no understanding how it is to be surrounded by others who have never been in either, or seem unable to stand up for themselves or anyone else.

People who aren't chronically ill or aren't disabled have little concept of how it is to live a day to day life making the most of every day and every joy that life can bring.

People who work hard and pay their bills find it difficult to relate to those who don't work and to those who do work and can't pay their bills.

People who have worked for years and years and have never had a raise cannot understand why anyone would want to raise the minimum wage to higher than they have been making for years and years. 

That's what makes all of these intense social issues so difficult. Everyone is screaming at each other instead of relating to one another. Maybe, it's not even possible anymore.

I haven't given up on relating to others. That's why I continue to reach out, even when it seems there's  no one reaching back. 

Tuesday, July 28, 2015

Responding to Minimum Wage Critics

Someone I've known for twenty years was railing against the minimum wage based on their experience when their wage was $5.35 an hour. He complained about people thinking it was important to have a phone, a TV or Internet access. Unfortunately, they weren't interested in my opinion nor our long time friendship.

I'd rather have a discussion about the minimum wage.

This was my response.


Do you understand what you're saying though? When you grew up there was no internet and people got their news from newspapers and from antennas on top of their houses, not from phones connected to the Internet. 

All of those supplies you mentioned are much more expensive now than they were then and the wages comparatively have risen minimally during the same time frame. Rent has increased, property taxes in most states and local jurisdictions is rising to fill the gap that federal and state budget cuts have forced upon them. 

The people that work those jobs aren't living lavish lives. They're barely making it. Probably, they aren't receiving healthcare from working either. Yet, you're upset about their phone, which may or may not have come free with their plan? 

Now, I'm not sure when you made $5.35 an hour in Dallas, but I very much doubt that was anytime this century. I would probably wager it wasn't even in the 90s. But, answer this question. If you made more money while you worked that job in Dallas would you have been able to better pay your bills, save money, purchase items, and enjoy your life? 

So, because you made $5.35 an hour whenever you did, you will always be against increasing the minimum wage? 


I then added this photo that depicts the top wage earners at some of our nation's top employers that do not want the minimum wage increased.

What are your thoughts on the minimum wage, increasing it, and the potential effects on the economy (locally, nationally and globally) if that were to take place?

Thursday, July 23, 2015

Focus on Daily Living with PTSD Therapy

Focusing on past trauma, repeatedly and often, is the wrong focus in PTSD therapy for too many. And, the evidence is building.

Habituation may yield some benefits, but as a primary focus in therapy seems both short-sighted and counterproductive. 

I've found much more success and progress in an approach that focuses on daily living and the present as opposed to continuously reliving the past.

At times, past traumas do present themselves as active in the here and now, and when these inevitably do, each should be focused on appropriately as obstacles and obstructions to daily living.

It is very difficult to break the cycle of PTSD as it becomes hard-wired in the brain. With continued work and guidance, both internally and externally, it is possible to rewire and reforge connections in the brain.

Never give up the fight with PTSD. This is the battle that continues long after the actual trauma is long over. 

Thursday, July 9, 2015

The Minimum Wage: Why is Something Good For Them, Bad for You?

+Amazing World
I think people think about this minimum wage issue in so many unfortunate ways.

Why are less people inclined to think hard work pays off? 

Because it doesn’t.

Why does increasing the minimum wage have to be bad for you? 

This is like thinking something good for someone else is something bad for you and just stewing over it and getting angry over it. 

How does that help you? 
How does that help anyone?  

Maybe, you should consider thinking differently about good things happening for others. 

There’s a reason why service has gone down at low wage jobs . . . because these jobs don’t pay the bills and rarely have benefits. Until recently, they would promote you to management in order to avoid paying you for overtime work. Thankfully, Obama changed that rule recently. 

Are you being paid enough for the work at your job? Odds are you probably are not. Does that mean that other people aren’t being paid adequately for their work? Odds are probably not. 

Productivity in America has increased steadily since the 1970s while wages have remained relatively stagnant. All the wealth has gone into the hands of the already wealthy. How does blaming the workers at McDonald’s make any sense? How does complaining about them possibly getting a raise in the minimum wage make any sense? 

If the minimum wage increases, anyone who makes that wage is going to likely spend all of that extra money directly into their local communities and local businesses. That helps your neighbors, your schools, your local governments. Why is that bad? 

Why do you have to make something good for someone else something bad for you? 

Thursday, June 18, 2015

Taking Better Care of My Anger


Anger isn’t a terrible emotion. It’s an emotion that is telling us something. If we are quick to flash to anger, then that says something about our ability to take care of our anger. 

However, anger rarely takes over and becomes explosive for me. That being said, it still happens, and I have much work left to do. When it does, I really try to pay attention and ask myself the questions as to how and why. Generating understanding and compassion is always wonderful, but we must first have patience. 

Becoming angry is okay. Having that anger within us lash out at others, even those that might be watering the seeds of anger within us, is not taking care of our anger. It's allowing it to control us.

I know I can do better, and I strive every day I wake up to do just that. 

May I have the opportunity today to be more mindful and take care of my anger whenever and wherever I go. 

Thursday, May 21, 2015

Do Everything With All of You


If you're going to do something, do it with all of you, otherwise it's a worthless exercise that doesn't bear the fruits of your soul.

Thursday, May 7, 2015

The Currently Unreachable

I always strive to understand others, especially those who appear to have adamantly oppositional views and perspectives from my own. I actually approach most issues with the agenda of gaining additional understanding as opposed to solidifying my own. This tends to aggravate or frustrate others that wish to use common push and pull tactics to control or adequately predict the behavior of others. 

Despite my attempts at reaching understanding with others, I often seem to fail, especially in text-based environments. The most likely reason is the lack of human-to-human connection that exists in those settings. However, this also applies to anyone who must have me play the role of antagonist regardless of my actual actions, words, and intentions or the time, place and setting of the encounter.

I would call most of these people, and myself with regards to them specifically, currently unreachable. It’s not that understanding isn’t possible or isn’t even a potential through further contemplation or meditation, but that a direct and mutual understanding simply is not. 

This is simply a failing of my own creation. Some people don’t want to connect or to be understood. In fact, by my wading into their world I may have damaged them, triggered their reactivity or created a dynamic that they simply wish to ignore. This is not a healthy energy or atmosphere for me to create for not only others but for myself as well. 

This is a challenging notion for me to grapple with, but as I continue to move on with my life and begin selecting environments with people that are more open and hospitable to that dynamic and communicative understanding, I should be more mindful of those who simply are not currently reachable. 

Wednesday, April 8, 2015

Moving Away from Aversive Responses

When we find ourselves confused by another’s behavior, we have a few choices. We can attempt to understand it, aversion or to simply ignore it. 

I have found those who choose aversion tend to lash out in way’s that are not helpful or conducive to moving forward. These people also recirculate and repeat their ideas and feelings about someone instead of effectively challenging those thoughts. 

If given the opportunity to engage or interact with the person at the focus of those thoughts and feelings, these people tend to not want to listen or expand their understanding but to reinforce their negative, aversive view of their target.

I strive to always challenge my own views as much as I challenge the views of others. It is unfortunate when others constantly, consistently work against others without any regard for understanding or compassion and certainly no ability to generate patience. These all require discipline.

We have to strive to build discipline. Otherwise, we not only work against our own better interests, we work against the better interests of all those in our lives.

Friday, March 6, 2015

Domestic Violence, Trauma . . . Please Ask for Help

If you think it's ever acceptable to put your hands on your partner or ex-partner or anyone, you're messed up and need help. 

If you let someone continue to be in your life that does so without that person getting help and taking the tangible steps necessary to get better, you need help.

We cannot allow those in our lives to abuse us in these ways. At some point, they may take it way too far and then you don't have any choice left. 

Tragic, traumatic events have taken place again. I'm devastated; that's all the living are left with way too damned often. There's no making sense of the senseless. It's just traumatic. 

Sunday, February 8, 2015

Compromising in Relationships


Compromising begins with truly listening to your partner in order to gain a better understanding of and with your partner.

Compromising doesn’t mean changing who you are, but it can mean altering the choices and decisions you take in how it affects and impacts the life and general well-being of your partner.

Through real communication, partners can better understand what each other is actually doing and if it truly is the actions and behaviors that are creating friction and unease.  More likely, it is something more personal and individual taking place that creates an action or behavior as well as the reaction to those actions and behaviors.

If you enter into a conversation with your partner to ‘change’ that person, what you are doing is having it only your way. That really isn’t a conversation at all.

Changing long-standing behaviors is very difficult and takes diligence, patience and compassion from both partners. Some people aren’t aware of how others experience of the behaviors that have developed over the course of their lives.

 If you are making the relationship all about your comfort and how happy you are, maybe you’re not ready for an adult relationship.

Sunday, February 1, 2015

Moving Beyond Minority Subset Culture

Gay male culture mimics minority culture because gays are minorities. 

Subsets within the community have largely developed based on surface/body-type issues, sexual and social behaviors as well as ideological/religious/upbringing beliefs. These three main subsets overlap for some and don't apply fully for others. However, if you generalize, these subsets are common differentiations for all people: physical, emotional/sexual, and mental/spiritual. 

Some homosexuals gravitate toward others within their community looking for the acceptance and recognition they found lacking from family and community in early childhood, adolescence and early adulthood. For some, those subsets readily provide that acceptance and recognition with no words necessary. However, for many these subsets lack substantial, genuine and sincere human interaction or fulfillment. 

I would highly suggest not looking for the gay community, anyone or anything to fill the void in one's life. If minority and majority culture is not fulfilling for you, embrace your individuality. Don't turn the gay community or the community-at-large into the enemy or the problem. Absolutely don't turn yourself into the problem, either. Turn yourself, your daily life and your choices into the way forward. 

Sunday, January 25, 2015

Breaking Through the Bulkhead Moment

+Wonderful World
I had active-healing dreaming taking place early this morning. So, I woke up early to write out some broad ideas from the dreams and the activities that led to the damage that required the healing.

About a week and a half ago, in joyous exuberance I ended up overextending a leap, tripping and falling, and shortly after being kicked in the head by a concrete cherub, all in the 'safety' of the home. This began a stretch of unfortunate injuries, decisions and repercussions, possibly exacerbating both PTSD and concussion symptoms. 

One of these choices was watching American Sniper. I wanted to experience this movie for a multitude of reasons. I knew by its very nature that both fringes would be using it as a political weapon against the other, so watching it would inoculate me against biased views not based on reality. I was absolutely accurate on that prediction. My thoughts on the resulting controversies as well as on the movie itself I'll post later today on Rise of the Middle.

Of course, I knew watching the movie would undoubtedly trigger the hell out of my own PTSD, which it absolutely did. However, I am of the mindset that dealing with what develops from self-created opportunities of triggering PTSD can be highly productive when followed through until resolution. One week later I have managed that resolution and am much better for experiencing it.

Through the course of this week, I've had so many clumsy accidents resulting in injuries that at moments it was highly concerning. I never give up or surrender to physical, emotional, mental or external threats. I always meet these head-on . . . hence, the strategy involved in pressuring my mind such as I did. 

And, today, I feel resilient, buoyant and more. Yesterday, was able to visit a favorite outdoor place of mine, Allerton Park, with a friend. The sunlight, the walking and struggling through my injuries, the fresh air . . . it was the breaking though the internal bulkhead moment that helped crystallize the week's worth of struggles.

This dream I had was about transformative ideas. How does this happen? Initially in the dream, I struggled to figure out how to get those ideas into the mind. I came up with an idea . . . Drill down, toss in the dynamite (the transformative idea) and explode those ideas throughout your mind and into every aspect of your external daily life. What happened next was transformative! Check that out on The Ridding of Ignorance later today.

Enjoy the day! Yes, I know I just gave myself a lot of work to do.

Monday, January 12, 2015

The Goal of Less Striving

Sitting with the mind intentionally . . . Amazing how much can take place between those intentional sessions. Why do I become so dissuaded from intentional sitting?

Intentional action and active thinking is simple. It's fluid, ongoing . . . an incessant stream when and if I allow it to be. But, intentional sitting . . . returning to the internal, eternal spring . . . the source of emptiness. That is the emptiness that many mistake for loss or void . . . It is everything because it is actually everything.

All the distractions of intentional acting obscure that, which is why I must strive to do less striving.


I actually managed to have a restful night's sleep after that. An immediate tangible result to intentional sitting and intentional no striving. Also, these arrived today.